Saturday, February 21, 2015

"Guardians Of The Galaxy"

Take a look @ 'the good, the bad and the ugly' in Marvel Studios' "Guardians Of The Galaxy": 

Michael Stevens/SneakPeek.Ca for "THE GOOD" : 

"As a long-time comic book collector with a few runs of Marvel's "Guardians Of The Galaxy" (2008), there is no doubt I am a 'fan' (hehe) of this ambitious and impressive-looking film...

What is Good : 

"'Star-Lord' (Chris Pratt) taking out bad guys while hooked on a feeling.

"'Moonage Daydream' by David Bowie applied to a futuristic landscape.

"Michael Rooker as 'Yondu', popping out of the screen in 3D looking like a blue-skinned 'Merle' from 'The Walking Dead'.

"'Rocket Raccoon' (Bradley Cooper) as cute as a dancing dog.

"Zoe Saldana as 'Gamora'...

...either in a fighting or seductive mood.

"'Groot' and his ET-like, spiritual  ability to channel higher powers.

"'Thanos' finally revealed in his full glory, while floating without a care in the world on his throne.

"Lee Pace ('Halt and Catch Fire') as 'Ronan'.

"Dave Bautista delivering a surprisingly low-key performance as 'Drax'..." 

Graf Orlok for "THE BAD": 

"I was looking forward to an in-depth look at 'Peter Quill' aka 'Star-Lord' and the events leading up to his 'sex crime' criminal record for 'illegal manipulation of a Gramosian Duchess'...

What is Bad : 

"Aside from the odd 'dick' joke, (maybe an English 'Benny Hill' influence on the director) there was a cheap gag between 'Quill' and 'Rocket', with Quill suggesting if he were to use a black-light in his living quarters, it would reveal all sorts of personal hygiene splatter.

"Quill manages to get on top of Gamora, but only by accident after saving her. He even manages to lock lips. 

"And Gamora DOES get sweaty, with those luscious (green) lips..."

Jane Doberman for "THE UGLY":

"I dunno' who this movie was made for: kids brain-washed into buying plush dolls of 'deadly assassins' or brain-dead adults who grooved to some of the worst music K-Tel ever sold on TV. 

What is "Ugly":

"Pratt was more 'Jack Burton' than 'Indiana Jones', but still no excuse for the atrocious acting. As an ensemble, I've seen more method in "Flesh Gordon Meets The Cosmic Cheerleaders".

"Why was Djimon Hounsou, the only black guy in the main cast, cast as a villain ?

"Skanky-looking killer 'Gamora' is about as appealing as a 'deadly assassin' can be. 

"Then there's 'Ronan' killing a guy by smashing his head in with a giant 'Universal Weapon'. Subtle touch.

"The toy 'troll' in Quill's sleeping quarters is not an original 'DAM' troll (pictured above) but a cheap knock-off with an even uglier face .

"'Groot' also branches out into killing people by impaling them in multiples and shaking them around to make sure the wound is deep enough, before he flings them off. 

"'Rocket' seems to have an orgasm before he goes into full battle-massacre mode.

'"Howard the Duck' looks as good as 'Richard Nixon' did in 'Watchmen'. Kudos but no cigar.

"Now I've got this annoying 'Hooked On A Feeling' ear-worm thing in my head...yeesh !!! Only in Marvel Movies kids, only in Marvel Movies..."

Click the images to enlarge and Sneak Peek "Guardians Of The Galaxy"...